“Okay, whatever you do, nobody say a word.” I told them with a look that meant I was serious. “Those are the rules.”
It was June of 2011. We were in an elevator at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego and everyone was staring at me.
I had no idea who these people were.
A devilish grin flashed across my face.
They weren’t expecting what was about to happen…
—Location: Arizona (2 weeks ago)—
“Okay, you’re the mommy and I’m the baby, okay?” The girls were playing make-believe again. I was making dinner and they headed for their room.
I didn’t think I had anything to worry about.
“Okay? Okay?”…. I heard my oldest daughter ask. She wanted an answer.
I went back to cooking before I noticed the silence…
If you have kids, you know what’s about to happen when it gets quiet. If you don’t, let me do you a huge favor.
With little kids…
…just because everything seems okay, doesn’t mean it is.
Silence means trouble.
This was no exception…
–Location: Back in the elevator somewhere between the 1st and 8th floor—
Everyone was staring at me…
They were nervous. Then I smiled and started to shake my head…
“Seriously, who came up with that rule? When did we ever agree to be silent in elevators? I don’t remember doing that, do you?” I said.
The ice melted – they started laughing. Apparently, I’m not the only one that thinks some of the things we just accept blindly are nonsense.
As we walked towards the rooftop bar, my friend stopped me for a minute and said, “Mate, whatever happens the rest of the week, BE that guy in the elevator.”
I stood there for what felt like 10 minutes (it was probably 30 seconds).
“Wait a minute, I am funny…” I thought to myself.
I realized in that moment that I had bought into not just one or two limiting belief, but a whole truckload of these “lies” about myself. That moment was a turning point in my life.
What happened next was amazing…
–Back in Arizona—
I knew I should have moved faster.
For some reason, it still takes me a while to realize the house has gone silent.
I ran into their room and that’s when I heard the water splashing. My youngest daughter’s hair was soaking wet and so was the tile floor – not good.
I had made it just in time to see my youngest daughter’s feet slip out from under her… I lunged forward to catch her….
–Time: Right Now—
Okay, before we go on, I need to ask you a few questions.
Why do you think we stop using our imagination to see ourselves as superheroes and princesses? Why do we stop believing that we can do anything or be anything we want to be?
Picture my daughters (or your own kids if you have them).
They were obviously given the ability to imagine themselves as anybody they want to be.
Why is this “gift” built into us – this ability to create our own reality?
More importantly, why do you think we stop using it to have fun?
I blame the society we live in that tells us to “stop pretending”, “to grow up” and to “start living in the real world.”
For some reason, we listen.
Instead of creating the life we want in our imaginations, we usually end imagining how things can go bad. We start to use our imaginations more to worry than to create. And yet, on some level, we know that the only real difference between what one person does in life and what another person does comes down to one thing – their beliefs.
We read things like this…
“What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve” – Napoleon Hill
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs” – James Allen
“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen
And we know there is truth behind these statements… not just because the people that wrote them dedicated their lives to learning how successful people have created their lives, but because deep down, we know the truth – our beliefs play a huge role in creating our reality.
For example, I grew up believing I was very shy because I was told that I was shy over and over again.
How do you think I acted? Outgoing or shy?
Of course, I acted shy. What else are you going to do if you believe you’re shy? By acting shy, it just added more and more evidence that I was.
Pretty soon, I built my identity around the “fact” that I was shy. I felt like I didn’t fit in – especially around successful or highly confident people. I didn’t feel like I was part of their club.
It wasn’t fun, but that’s “just who I was” and that’s “just how the world was.”
–Flashback: Sometime in 2006 Standing at a Microphone in Front of 48 People–
“No, really, I’ve always been shy.” I told the crowded room.
“Bull*&#!” someone yelled from the back of the room. I looked. It was a guy I had met in the parking lot on a break.
I went on, trying to convince them I was shy and then a quiet woman in the front row said, “Then why are you in front of the microphone?”
That’s one of those questions that stops you dead in your tracks.
My mind started chewing on her question… “She’s right. I love getting up here to speak. Could they be right? Maybe I chose to believe that I was shy? Man… that means I’ve been torturing myself… I built my own jail cell and locked myself in.”
In that moment, my memory started flashing back to all the times when I had actually been outgoing, to all the parties I had been invited to, to the times when I had spoken to people from stage… and I realized something.
I love connecting, I love mentoring, I love talking to people and I even love public speaking.
The “key” had been in my pocket the whole time, but I didn’t know I had it.
It’s amazing how our minds work.
Our minds are like super-powerful validation machines that work their tail off to confirm our beliefs as being 100% true.
If you have limiting beliefs that started in your childhood, your mind has had a lot of time to ignore all the evidence to the contrary while force-feeding you all the “proof” that your belief is true.
Through something called the reticular activating system, your mind looks for everything it can find to validate and to prove your belief.
For some reason, your mind finds it very scary to consider that your beliefs might not be true, so it discounts anything that might invalidate your belief.
Your mind hides the key and keeps making the jail cell stronger and stronger.
Here’s the million dollar question: “How do you change your beliefs?”
How do you find the key?
—Location – Penthouse Apartment, San Diego (Not Long After the Elevator Incident)—
“So, what do you do?” he asked.
I had just finished spending the afternoon with some amazing people and now I was at one of their homes.
“I’m in sanitation. It’s a growth industry. You should check it out.” I said with a smirk on my face that told him we both knew I was messing with him.
He just laughed and motioned me over to his computer so he could show a group of us how his latest product was helping tens of thousands of customers. You could feel how much this guy loved his life and why shouldn’t he? He believed in what he was doing, he was helping thousands of people get what they wanted in life and most of all, he was genuine.
Later, when I walked out onto the patio it hit me…
Two years ago, I came to these conferences and I felt like an outsider. I didn’t feel worthy and I felt like I had to prove that I belonged. It was an irrational belief, but it had me in a death grip.
Now, I was relaxing with the people who were creating these events. They were inviting me into their homes and to their private retreats. And most of all, I felt like I belonged. I wasn’t an outsider anymore.
How did this happen? More importantly, how did it happen so fast?
You’re here, so I’ll reveal how it happened.
I changed my beliefs about myself and the world and everything seemed to change overnight. I know that may sound a little crazy, but that’s how it happened. What you believe affects how you feel, how you act and how you show up in the world for other people.
I use to believe that I was shy, that I didn’t fit in and that I was an outsider.
Now, I’m completely comfortable around anybody from the homeless guy on the corner to the couple making 8 figures a year. I don’t have anybody to impress and I don’t need anyone to validate who I am or what I’m doing. I’m 100% comfortable in my own skin. If someone had told me two or three years ago that I’d feel like this, I would have thought they were crazy… but, I do.
How did I do it?
Let’s go back and find out…
–Time: Approximately 1 Month Before the Elevator—
I took what my little girls were doing when they were playing make-believe and started to build.
Using what I had learned about the conscious and subconscious mind, I created a series of programs.
I used the programs to reprogram my mind – I was overwriting limiting beliefs and installing enabling beliefs… and it was working.
What happened in the elevator was just a catalyst.
Before I ever stepped into that elevator, I was using my programs to change my beliefs. When my friend said to me, “…BE that guy in the elevator.” I realized my programs were working – my actions were changing because my beliefs were changing…
I wasn’t believing the “lies” about myself anymore. I was showing up as a different person.
—Time: Right Now–
Which makes me really curious, so let’s try something.
If it’s possible for you to change your life by changing your beliefs, “Who would you choose to be?”
I don’t mean would you be Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie. I mean, what type of person would you love to become? Who would you want in your life as a romantic partner? What skills would you possess? How would you spend your time? Would you fulfill your calling in life?
For a moment, set aside anything that might be holding you back.
By now you’ve probably guessed that the 7 letters standing between you and what you want are the letters that make up the word BELIEFS. So let’s set aside any beliefs that have held you back in the past for a few moments. That may seem difficult, but I’ll let you in on a little secret…
I had a ton of limiting beliefs and seriously bad situations that were holding me back – that’s actually why I created the programs, I needed something to help me counteract all the negativity around me. So just set aside any excuses or objections your mind brings up for five minutes and just allow yourself to create a world where anything is possible.
What would you do?
Who would you choose to be in life?
Would you have the guts to become the person who starts making your ideas and your dreams a reality? Would you become the person who finds your soulmate? Would you be truly happy?
Maybe… just maybe, that’s who you should become.
If you want to know more about how I changed my beliefs, started connecting with people and even found my soulmate, then sign up for my email list – I share some insights there that you won’t find on this web site.
Question of the Day:
What do you think is the biggest thing that holds people back from making the changes they want to make in their lives?
Oh, I almost forgot to finish the story about my daughter who had just slipped on the wet tile. I took action as soon as I noticed something wasn’t right and I made it just in time (thankfully).